THE COMPENDIUM OF STUPID
- "The economy is bad. You can't afford to lose a customer. So you really need to give me that $50 promo again."
- Listen to yourself. Are we really going to lose money by not giving a whiny, small time customer 50 more dollars because she nullified her previous $50 promo on a return? $150 dress minus $50 promo minus the profit we'd get from an unblemished, unused dress as opposed to the stained, wrinkled one you returned minus the $100 you got refunded because you returned it minus $50 does not constitute a profit in any classical sense of the word.
- "Is the (web exclusive item) available in stores?"
- "If you don't cancel my membership, I'll take this to the supreme court!" (The Supreme Court only decides if something is constitutional or not. They wouldn't waste time on a civil case like a gym membership).
- "If you don't cancel my membership, I'll call the army on you!"
- LOLcat Concession: "Hello, can i received the free tote bag with my order????"
- Asking for a refund or free shipping on an order merely because your order didn't ship on time due to insufficient funds in your bank account.
- Some guy tried to cancel his membership by mailing a cancellation letter to a friend at a different address (not anywhere close to a gym), but the envelope inside, the one he told the friend to send to us to get the membership canceled, was in the zip code within 25 miles of a gym. Seriously, WTF.