Customersucktionary Wiki
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This happens when a customer has received a template letter, usually ended with the CEOs name, or the Marketing Director's name.

For example:


"Hi, could you put me through to Joe Bloggs, please?"

"Excuse me?"

"Well, I just got a letter from him telling me AGAIN that my order was delayed, and none of you are helping!"

"No, sorry. He wouldn't actually be able to WORK OUT A THING FROM THE ORDER because he doesn't have a CLUE how the system works. You'll have to do with me."

"OK, then I'd like you to put me through to complaints".


The customer seems to struggle with the idea of templates, and that the reason an order is delayed is their fault. They were also on hold for 40 minutes because we're the only department that can deal with their order!

This is closely related to Pointless_Refer.

In the realm of gym memberships, the customer imagines that the CEO personally contacted them about the account, and therefore wants to talk to them directly to get the problem fixed, hopelessly ignoring the fact that the CEO actually has a life...and a house boat in Fiji.

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