Puppet Employee

Sometimes a customer is so desperate to bypass company policy that they enlist the help of disenfranchised employees to do their bidding. These employees generally have no political clout within the organization, their information undocumented by any viewable documentation. But the customer will swear up and down that the employee can back up their story, and when the employee is put on the line, the puppet employee will generally parrot anything the customer says. However, when push comes to shove, the employee will never have a shred of evidence with which to support the claim. Asking them to verify details will cause them to put you on hold for an hour while they "speak to the manager." Whenever you hear a line like "I'm at the store. Would you like to speak to the clerk?" or, "I'm at the gym. Do you want me to put the manager on the line?" this could be a Puppet Employee call.

A Puppet Employee will generally be one of the following:


 * Some guy pretending to be an employee (possibly with inappropriate environmental sound effects in the background such as a crying baby, cats, or a loud television).
 * An employee that used to work there, but no longer, probably fired for doing stunts just like the one he's doing now.
 * An employee somehow tortured into providing the incorrect information.
 * An employee deceived by the customer's emotional or mental manipulations.
 * A friend or relative of the customer.
 * A new employee that doesn't know his or her ass from a hole in the ground.
 * Bribery is not generally a possibility, as they're too damn cheap for that.

Variations:
 * Gym Rep: "Yes, Mrs. Johnson's account is closed.  I've already sent a memo to the District Manager about this.  We're taking care of it."  (And the account isn't closed, and isn't going to be closed without documentation, and it's two months after the account was supposedly `closed.').
 * "Yes, we've spoken to Mrs. Johnson. Are you sure there isn't some way you can cancel her $50,000 contract?
 * Store Clerk: "We told Mrs. Johnson that she could use this store credit online.  Are you saying you can't do that?"
 * "I was told by the District Manager that we could reissue those $100 coupons. Couldn't you make an exception?"
 * "The manager told her that she could get free shipping for a year. It should be on file.  Can't you refund her for the $110 on those five orders that were placed back in Janary 1977?"
 * A bank representative who asks if we're really charging them the amount that exceeds what is in their account, when in fact it's the customer's fault for placing an order for something that costs more than their balance.