Betty Bot

Companies like UPS and USPS have an automated female robot that reacts to voice commands. The problem? It's not equipped to handle verbal mistakes or the NATO alphabet, so if you say B, it thinks you said D, and it thinks F when you said S. And when you fail to react properly, it says, "I'm sorry, I didn't understand that" forever, unless it's nice enough to send you to a representative. Some of the meaner ones will simply disconnect the call.

Other companies have a Betty Bot that reacts to phone entries, but this is inextricably tied to the Phone_Tree_Of_Infinity, providing a condescending note to every menu choice.


 * Macy's has a horrible Betty Bot. When you press 0, it says "that is not a valid option."  Okay.  So asking for an operator is wrong, but using the Phone_Tree_Of_Infinity is the correct choice?  What if I want a non-standard answer?
 * When calling USPS, you basically can't get anywhere until you type in the tracking number correctly. If it's Smartpost, you will have to keep trying several times before you can speak to someone who recognizes the number as valid, since Betty isn't smart enough for that.
 * This Betty Bot is a total bitch. Recent changes to the system do not allow you to reach a representative, no matter how badly you type in the tracking number.  She also hangs up on you before you're ready to hang up, just because it's too stupid to understand what you want.  On a three way conference call, it got confused when I said yes.
 * If you take too long typing in the tracking number, she cuts you off and asks if the incomplete number is the correct number.