The Imperfect Excuse

Some customers have excuses that are reasonable. Excuses that might possibly score brownie points, grant leniency, policy exceptions, refunds, or discounts. At other times, the customer shoots himself in the foot by providing an airtight explanation as to why they can't use company policy in a way that is beneficial to them. I say himself, because I've never heard of a woman doing this. The customer wants to cancel his gym membership, but they're past the trial period, and now have a thousand dollar loan to pay off. They call in, and ask for it to be canceled, but it's too late for the trial membership cancel.

You tell them they can cancel if they have relocated to a city where there isn't a gym. If they don't tell you they're next door to one, they say they're living in their grandma's house, and she pays all the bills. They tell you their name is not on their electric bill, water bill, gas bill, phone bill, cell phone bill, car bill, or any other kind of bill that could be sent to the company to prove they live there and thus cancel the contract.

They don't have department stores in that area, and everything goes to their PO Box, so there is no physical address that proves they didn't just set up a PO Box out there to deceive the company into thinking they live there. Or maybe they don't believe in mail and make all their payments through the aether, except the payments to your company.

They are the picture of health. They cannot even claim a skin condition as a reason why they cannot work out. They went into the Marines, but came back after a month of service and didn't send any paperwork.

And as the phone call progresses, they add more and more reasons why you cannot help them.

In summary, they have an airtight excuse as to why they cannot cancel their membership. Aim gun, point at foot. Ka-blam.