Milking the Cow Dead



Also called "If You Give A Mouse A Cookie." Offer the customer a $5 refund, they want $10. Offer them $10 and they want $20. Anything you offer is spit upon, and a greater refund is requested. This is especially heinous when dealing with large furniture purchases, where they will ask for a $400 refund in addition to a free $400 replacement sofa, and NOW, if not sooner. The justifications are various, though often based on erroneous concepts of entitlement and/or your company's reputation. If this sort of milking is denied, threats of better business bureau or legal action may follow. And of course, this normally results in a Sup_Call.

Yes, we're a corporate entity with hundreds of retail outlets across the United States. That does not mean we can afford to have hundreds of customers claiming free sofas and $400 refunds every five minutes. That would be considered Milking the Cow Dead.

"It's only $150," they will tell you. "Surely you can add an additional $17.50." Or something similarly repulsive. It is the retail equivalent of all those fireman and police officer charities (you know, the ones that say you have to donate $20 or more to the fund or they won't accept the donation).

Example: One irate gentleman was about to go out of the country, and his shipment was going to end up at his relative's house. Technically, it's in his possession, not lost or stolen, but he still wanted compensated for it because apparently his parents were too dumb to mail it to him. I offered him $10 as a courtesy and he told me "$10 is nothing! I will settle for no less than $50!"