Nordstrom Tire Refund

There's an urban legend that says that Nordstrom once refunded a man who brought a tire into their establishment, when they didn't sell tires. Apparently, a lot of customers think they can get away with that, with any company. So they buy a dress on Ebay, then call you to complain about how it became unraveled or shrunk in the wash, and ask for a refund because your company's name happens to be on the label. Even though they didn't buy it directly from your company. Instead of contacting Seller423352@ebay.com to complain, they contact you to get a refund. On an order that they didn't personally place.&#160; You're just supposed to magically find an order for them, or reach into your butt and pull out a replacement shirt or whatever for them, and mail it out to them without a single shred of usable account information to back up their claim.

If this were feasible to do over the phone, I'd probably do it:

ME: "Okay, I'll give you the refund, but I need to return this to you and get my money back." Grabbing random objects, like tape and a used ink cartridge, I shove it in the customer's face.

IDIOT CUSTOMER: I didn't sell you that crap; what am I supposed to do with it?

ME: NOW you're catching on! Finally!

Example:
 * Email: "With regard to your response, although I did not purchase it from your company directly, I have been in contact with Lord and Taylor and they have informed me they don't take the merchandise back.  I am to go directly to the company which in this case would be your company.  Since Lord and Taylor does not take washed / worn merchandise back, exactly what is the next step.  Thank You for your response."
 * So, since Lord and Taylor refused to take washed/worn clothing back, you're trying to get refunded by a company that also refuses to take washed/worn clothing?