Useless Bribery

It has been said that "money makes the world go round". However, it doesn't make everything go round. If you call the customer service line and try to bribe them, it's not going to work, because A. You can't stick money through the phone, B. There isn't a box on your computer for you to enter bribes into, and C. You can get fired for using a customer's credit card information in ways the company doesn't approve of. Also, it doesn't prevent things from being impossible. Bribing a phone representative is not going to speed up your shipment if it's already in the mail. If the package is going to Timbuktu, and it's sent by USPS, no amount of money is going to get it to not go to Timbuktu, if it's already in the mail. It's also not going to correct the system error, or stop the guys in the warehouse from preparing the item for shipping if you don't have a line into that place. Face it. You're screwed. But on the bright side, you're screwed with a wad of cash.