Einstein Express

"When you need to get it there...yesterday." Some customers think that it's physically possible to fill an order and have it delivered at their front door the same day. This may be due to misconceptions about the location of the warehouses, or due to a lack of understanding of physics, logistics, or the general operation of the universe.

Examples:


 * A customer orders a luggage set with one day shipping. Their flight leaves tomorrow.  Needless to say, they are not going to be holding anything when they get to baggage check...except a garbage bag.
 * The sofa with the fold-out bed was ordered yesterday. We don't express ship furniture.  The in-laws are coming over.  Tonight.  Maybe the wedding was never meant to be.
 * They ordered the crib two days ago. The little darling's crib was recalled today.  Where is your baby going to sleep?  With you.  In your bed.  Well, if you roll over, it might shut him up while you're trying to sleep.
 * She ordered some fantastic jeweled sandals for her fabulous debut in the Vegas nightclub scene. She arrived at Vegas right on time.  The sandals didn't.  It is now that the barefoot beauty realizes that maybe we don't do deliveries on Saturday or Sunday or major holidays.
 * The website said "usually ships in 24 hours," so the customer thought he could select standard shipping and get his Compaq Presario delivered in a day, instead of the 3-5 business days it actually takes. I guess he'll have to read a book on his flight instead.